Everyday Etiquette

Good manners always the right accessory, whether in suits or sneakers

Leave the white gloves and ball gowns at home when you go to Emily Smith’s etiquette classes. 

She isn’t trying to teach students how to dine “once a year in a very formal setting, if you happen to be at lunch with the queen of England.”

These are “everyday etiquette” classes. The focus is on skills youngsters should use daily, such as how to make a good first impression, receive a gift graciously, and be helpful. Showing kindness and respect, Smith said, is never out of place.

“I want to make sure to teach children that excellent manners are appropriate when they have on a soccer uniform,” she said, “not just a sports coat.”

Smith, a former debutante from North Carolina, recently started offering “Etiquette by Emily” classes in her University Park home. The mother of two with a career in software sales trained in how to instruct the courses while she was home on maternity leave with her now 6-month-old. 

Smith is one of the first instructors in the country licensed to teach the program created by veteran educator Amy Rainer. Rainer, an etiquette-expert in Alabama, instructs, writes, and speaks on the subject, and appeared on an episode of The Bachelor to teach an etiquette lesson.

Smith described her courses in University Park as “nothing fancy.” Her message of kindness and manners is a simple one that she believes is applicable to both young etiquette-experts and those whose manners are a little rough around the edges. 

“If there’s a parent that feels like they have taught their child etiquette since they were born, and they have only eaten at country clubs their whole life, that’s great. I think they could still come and learn something,” Smith said. “If it’s a parent that feels like, ‘Wow, I totally missed the boat; my child has terrible manners,’ great, send them, too.”

On a recent Saturday afternoon, the 4- to 8-year-olds in Smith’s “Making Manners Fun for the Little Ones” course played a game to practice eye contact and rehearsed how to meet a new teacher and be courteous to crossing guards. 

They tackled dilemmas such as what to do when a friend at school has been playing with a toy they want (Ask nicely, “Please can I play with that toy with you?”), and how to respond when accidentally bumping into someone (Look at them, say “excuse me,” then keep going.)

“I think if (etiquette) is taught, it’s an easy concept to grasp on to,” Smith said. If they’re asked to show respect, “children are happy to do it.”

Smith has been using a two-hour workshop format this summer so families can squeeze in lessons between trips out of town. But school year classes will typically be an hour long and continue once weekly for three consecutive weeks. 

Smith plans to offer classes on topics such as “The Art of Conversation,” as well as a back-to-school “First Impressions” crash course. Other classes include “The Perfect Gentlemen,” for boys, and “Goodness and Grace” for girls.

Her aim is that students bring their good manners into the classroom and the community. “My hope and prayer is that it’s just something that explodes and snowballs,” she said, “and we just become a community with excellent behaved kids that have excellent manners.”

Ready to get excited about etiquette? Follow @etiquettebyemily on Instagram to learn more about Emily Smith’s summer workshops and fall classes.