What I Plan to do With my $640 Million, Park Cities Edition

The other day, the unmistakable, inimitable Michael J. Mooney and I walked from the office down to the 7-Eleven on Akard Street. Our goal was simple: spend two dollars to make a few hundred million.

I don’t remember if it was Mike’s first lotto ticket, but it was mine. Sure, I’d sold thousands of tickets to cranky Italian women who said, “No. I wanted these straight/box, not straight and box” during my hustlin days at East Park Pharmacy, but I’d never pulled the trigger on the tickets myself.

When the idea of a $500 million (now up to $640 million)  Mega Millions prize became a reality, however, I pounced.

Here’s what I’d do with my new found wealth:

1. No offense to you all, but I’d probably quit Park Cities People. Or try to buy it from Wick with the express condition that the name changes to Brad Cities People.

2. Go eat a solid meal of food, push back from the table, and say something along the lines of, “This was delicious, but would’ve tasted better with some gold flake.” I’d then pull out a small tin of gold flake, and season the table with it.

3. Fix that one pothole on Turtle Creek Boulevard that I always hit on my way to Highland Park Town Hall.

4. Buy Highland Park Town Hall, and live in the turret.

5. Rent out Scotland Yard and convince the cast of Field of Dreams to reunite. “Is this heaven? No, it’s a really expensive piece of property in a district that has little to no room for growth!”

6. Pay SMU to become its new head basketball coach, then run Nolan Richardson’s “40 Minutes of Hell” scheme.

Those are just a few of my ideas. Anyone else buy a ticket?

One thought on “What I Plan to do With my $640 Million, Park Cities Edition

  • March 31, 2012 at 11:00 pm
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    Playing the lottery is dumb. Might as well go outside and shred some dollar bills.

    Reply

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