Greenlight Drama: Honk Twice if You Want Patience And Want it Now!
By: Dr. Don Dafoe
I live on a busy street corner. Throughout the day and night, I am rattled by a cacophony of honking horns.
I think this auditory manifestation of impatience in Dallas rivals New York City where, by the way, it is illegal to honk your horn unless you are in imminent danger.
We have all had the experience when the idiot — that is the driver in front of us — does not blast away at the nanosecond the light turns green. We grumble, “That’s a nanosecond I’ll never get back.”
The occulo-pedal reflex may be slowed due to the driver’s eyes cast down on a cell phone, daydreaming, or an attitude too relaxed for modern life.
What is the customary response? Lay on the horn and swerve around them with a scowl. Often a polite toot will do nicely. In that case, the response of the sluggish driver in front may be an appreciative nod and acceleration to make up for your lost 2 seconds.
The roused passive-aggressive drivers in front will pull out extra slowly. That’s on them and their ulcer.
When I’m the idiot in front, and I look up from my phone and realize the driver behind me is cutting me some slack by simply idling there (or, perhaps, also watching YouTube), I give them a little wave in the rearview mirror. I think about how patient that person must be and how they will outlive those of us who are always in a rush.
If the car behind me beeps then zips past me in a cloud of exhaust, I say to my passenger, “He must have emergency neurosurgery to do.”
As a doctor myself, I know that, if indeed, there is a true emergency at the hospital, the smart thing to do is follow all the traffic rules. If you are stopped for speeding or you crash your car, the patient who is in extremis will suffer too.
Time pressure is a curse. I, for one, have it bad. I make “to do“ lists and go about my day checking them off ASAP. Some days I’m foiled at every turn, and other days I go to bed satisfied only to awaken to another list.
I’m that guy behind the lethargic driver in front who mutters, “C’mon, man, that light don’t get any greener. I’ve got things to do.”
Einstein made a famous quote about time and relativity.
“When one sits with a pretty girl for two hours, it feels like only a minute has passed, but when one puts their finger on a hot stove for a minute, it feels like two hours have passed.” (Albert, you rascal, you had more complex equations going on under that wild hairdo of yours.)
The point? Time is elastic. It elongates when you slow down. Seinfeld joked that old people who typically drive with glacial speed should drive fast because they have limited time left. Maybe, they know about the elongation of time.
I found a quote from a book titled Time Warped by Claudia Hammond: it is “strangely empowering to think that the very phenomenon depicted as the unforgiving dictator of life is something we might be able to shape.”
So, Dallasites, give the prolonged horn honks a rest. It’s neighborly and you might live longer. Take slow, deep breaths in and out.
On the other hand, if you’re in the poll position and the light turns green, for God’s sake, gently press down on the gas pedal and go.
Dr. Don Dafoe, a transplant surgeon, has lived in Highland Park for an elongated year and a half.
