Blondes vs. Brunettes Diary: Explain This ‘Blitz’ Thingie
My newfound extracurricular activity — playing on the Brunettes team in the annual Blondes vs. Brunettes powder-puff football game — has made Monday mornings at the office a little more exciting. I now get to show off my new battle wounds, including countless bruises, two finger injuries, and quite a few sore muscles.
As a rookie in this year’s game, I’ve had a lot to learn. I’ve had to ask quite a few silly questions about football terminology and rules, and I haven’t been embarrassed by any of these moments because, honestly, I didn’t realize that they were common sports knowledge.
While I’d like to say that the coaches and sports editor Chuck Cox have found these questions funny and endearing, I’m not quite sure that’s always been the case. There have been a few highlights — like questions or comments I haven’t been able to live down yet. For your enjoyment, here’s a recap.
Moment No. 1: At practice last week, the term “blitz” was thrown around quite a bit, specifically by head coach Art Carrillo. While I’ve heard the term before — thanks to my little brother, James, and the NFL Madden video game — it isn’t a word typically used in my vocabulary, and I definitely couldn’t define it if asked.
After a bit of internal debate, I decided to ask a teammate, Kathryn Shelton, what it meant. Thankfully, she didn’t know either. Our next stop was to question one of the coaches, adding that we were “asking for a friend.” I’m not sure if he bought it, but he explained what a blitz was nonetheless.
Moment No. 2: Now that I’m an athlete, I like to spend my time chatting with Chuck about the most important aspect of football — the uniforms, or as I accidentally called them, the costumes. I mean, they can be a little bit flashy (ahem, Notre Dame), and they change depending on whether they are playing at home or away, so why is my term wrong?
Moment No. 3: Thank heavens for the Brunette assistant coaches, because without them I’d be lost on the field. Case in point: Every time I run on to play, I have to ask them, “Now what am I supposed to be doing again?” I know the basics — pull the flag; don’t let anybody with the ball past you — but sometimes I get a little lost. I’ve now been moved to cornerback, just when I was getting used to playing linebacker!
Moment No. 4: It was a bright and sunny evening when I realized the true intention of face guards. Our staff photographer, Andrew Buckley, came to practice with one purpose: to snap some photos of me looking athletic. At one point, he was actually winded from laughing so hard at the way I looked in the photos. I don’t blame him — I look like a Halloween mask gone wrong. I guess that’s a good thing, because I’ll scare away the other team.
Editor’s note: This is the second entry in a three-part series. It originally appeared in the July 26 edition of Park Cities People. Check back Saturday for Part 3.
