Melting, Send Help

Can't wait til it's only 102! Break out the parkas!

I grew up in New York. A hot summer day meant 90, maybe 92, with the threat of a thunderstorm cooling everything off.

Now, if I saw double-digits, I’d probably throw on a sweater.

I know the common answer to this next question is “LEAVE,” but what do you guys (still can’t say “y’all” without hearing my Queens and Bronx-raised grandmothers crying) do to beat the heat? Eat ice cream? Sit around in your underwear? Do both of those at the same time?

Those have been my two favorites this week, but have drawn glares from my neighbors.

Please help a brother out; I’m about to go Travis Bickle on this city.

14 thoughts on “Melting, Send Help

  • August 4, 2011 at 12:15 pm
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    We’re re-arranging the furniture. Doing some painting. Exchanging neighborhood kids to mix it up a little.

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  • August 4, 2011 at 12:21 pm
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    As a Chicago transplant, I try to deal with the heat like this: It’s a blizzard/snowstorm in reverse. In Chicago, we would hunker down inside for the below zero weeks and only venture out for necessities. Here, we hunker down inside during the blistering heat. Both situations are miserable. I try to tell myself, it will all be over by October!

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  • August 4, 2011 at 12:29 pm
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    It really sucks when it’s too hot to go swimming in the pool.

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  • August 4, 2011 at 12:31 pm
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    @ Gringo Bling- Agreed. I hopped in my building’s pool last weekend, and felt like I was wading in room-temperature bisque.

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  • August 4, 2011 at 12:42 pm
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    You know how people in NYC go to the Hamptons on weekends? People do that here in August, except they’re rich and they go to their second home in Colorado. Find a rich friend.

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  • August 4, 2011 at 12:56 pm
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    “Y’all” is a conjunction of you and all…”ya’ll” is incorrect.

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  • August 4, 2011 at 1:31 pm
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    @GP- Fixed, but that sort of proves my point that I’m ill-equipped to write (nevermind speak) that word.

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  • August 4, 2011 at 2:32 pm
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    You don’t go outside. Problem solved! Besides, we don’t have to shovel snow, so I’ll take it any day.

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  • August 4, 2011 at 4:26 pm
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    Some local church is having a prayer service next week to pray for rain. Makes sense to me. Rain is needed and would mean the big high pressure on top of us budged, making us accessible to cold fronts (high of only 100). So, Bradford, pray. That’s what Texans do. And BTW, isn’t it “youse guys?”

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  • August 4, 2011 at 8:00 pm
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    Bradford,

    Your instincts are correct. Our kind can never say “y’all”. Not that it isn’t an extremely useful conjunction, we just can’t pull it off with any credibility.

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  • August 5, 2011 at 9:30 am
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    XT, I concur although if said rarely and in the right spirit we natives find it charming Also, although grammatically correct, most natives would not use the y’all spelling, even if it is the formal spelling per Merriam Webster. It is reserved for informal communications referring to more than one person because we rarely use “you” as a plural pronoun.

    Informal: Would ya’ll like to come over for barbecue and swimming?
    More formal: May you and your family join us for swimming and dinner?

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  • August 5, 2011 at 9:48 am
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    I heartily approve of “y’all.” It’s an effective word that more effectively conveys the sense of speaking to a group, especially of mixed gender, than does “you guys” or even the formal “you.” So, y’all try to stay cool cause it’s fixin’ to get real hot today.

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  • August 5, 2011 at 11:34 am
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    We’ve always dreamed of getting a truckload of ice to dump in our pool in August. Has anyone ever actually pulled that off?

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  • August 5, 2011 at 1:13 pm
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    @Charles,

    I agree, much better than “you guys”. But not nearly as much fun as “youse guys”

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