The Facebook Lie. A Virtual Fake ID or an Academic Boost?
I have a solid rule in my house, no Facebook until you’re 13. Period. I just didn’t think it felt right to allow my kid to enter a fake birthday in order to meet the Facebook terms and create a profile. It seems hard to approve that and then say you can’t lie about other stuff.
But in many ways, I wish I hadn’t made the rule. I can’t back down now so thankfully a September birthday will solve it all very shortly. But when I got this e-mail from a totally awesome HPISD teacher, I wondered if the remaining holdout parents of 12 year old 7th graders should give in and let it go, you know, for academic reasons. Maybe I should have given in sooner.
I have a class Facebook set up and encourage the kids to add me as a friend. I am on for about a half hour to forty-five minutes a night a few days a week and tutor through Facebook. It allows the kids to ask questions, check on homework and assignments and get time with me once school is out.
This is a teacher who is spending her own time in a strategic cyber-locale to help kids succeed in her class. Rock. Star. But should parents let their kids lie to be more academic?
Merritt:
I just wanted to tell you, this is an awesome and perceptive post. As parents in 2010 we now face issues like this every day. I don’t pretend to know all the answers to tweens-using-the-internet questions like this, but I love how you spotted this issue perfectly, and framed it for all of us (parents, teachers, teens) in the form of a piercing question.
Personally, I am NOT a fan of encouraging my child to start the whole social networking scene – and I am a social media marketer by profession. There is too much happening online that can be inappropriate for young children if you are not savvy about how to handle privacy settings, use password controls and regularly monitor your child’s online activity.
While I can appreciate the enthusiasm of this teacher wanting to engage with her student where she thinks they are… I don’t see this as responsible behavior to encourage the use of sites like Facebook for tweens.
If they have questions for this teacher, they should just be able to e-mail her.
Wow. I think it’s a tremendously bad idea for teachers to be “friending” their minor students. I can’t believe HPISD doesn’t have some sort of social networking policy on it.
Here’s one HPISD policy, regarding extracurricular activities and doing anything unacceptable even on the student’s own time:
“All sources of information, including, [sic] hearsay, rumor, anonymous tips, photographs and information posted on the Internet, including such social networking sites as Facebook and My Space will be investigated and may be considered by the Assistant Principal to determine if a violation has occurred.”
What student would want to let the school district in his or her business?
Wow.. I’m just floored. Maybe this ties into the whole redshirting process. Does this teacher really think the whole grade is 13???
I remember when my sr was in 7th grade they had a totally cool awesome teacher who said ” I’m on facebook (actually then I think it was myspace) and if I catch any of you on there I will call your parents!!”
How about that!
Whos the teacher???? VERY inappro.
This is the part I hate- having to stick up for someone when I was the one who tossed it out for discussion. But this teacher is REALLY good. And I totally support the Facebook, Twitter, techy-ish, super mod interaction ESPECIALLY when it’s for school.
I agree that the kids “friending” a class room is probably risky for them if things get a little wild on their personal profile BUT that’s what it is, friending a classroom. The teacher isn’t putting this stuff on the same profile with her college buddies. She has set up a classroom page just for that purpose.
@mts- almost the entire class is a year older than they should be, it’s Highland Park. My daughter is a September birthday so technically she should be one the oldest. But she’s not even close!
I have another child with a summer birthday and he started school when he had just turned 5. There are kids 14-17 months older in his grade. Crazy.
This reader e-mail is a tad concerning:
Food for thought:
http://jezebel.com/5628554/facebook-wont-shut-down-stalker
a
Not just because of the article she linked. I mean, signing “a” can freak people out. Doesn’t she watch Pretty Little Liars? http://www.tvfanatic.com/2010/07/lucy-hale-reveals-key-pretty-little-liars-spoiler-who-is-a/
I have to stick up for the kids who are “older than they should be” and their parents.
I’m the mom of three. My youngest just turned five and is a redshirt kindergartener. We held him back because he is not ready, not because everyone else is doing it or because we wanted him to excel at sports.
Like many parents, we made this decision based on discussions with his teachers, the director of the preschool and the public school principal. We believe giving him another year before his official kindergarten year was the right decision for him, and we’re thankful that we can afford to give him that extra year to mature.
On the Facebook issue, we have a “not until your 13” rule, too. But we’re also sticklers about movie ratings.
I don’t think it’s appropriate for the school to encourage children to use Facebook, but I do see the benefit of it as a tool for a classroom. There should be another site that can provide the same experience without it being Facebook.
Outside of school, thirteen/8th grade is an appropriate age to start Facebook, but I think parents need to carefully set up the account together to make the privacy settings very private, be their child’s first friend, know their kid’s password, check the account using the password to make sure there’s nothing unsavory going on, and monitor friends–at least while their in middle school. Facebook encourages letting everyone see things about you and many of the privacy settings default to that. I know some parents think that they’re invading their kid’s privacy, but letting them friend anyone they want and not paying attention to what they’re posting is not good parenting. You also don’t want your kids broadcasting your vacation plans to 500 of their closest “friends.”
I feel “meh” about this issue. My kid’s a senior, when he was a 7th grader his friends weren’t doing facebook. He joined at the beginning of freshman year, as did most of his friends. It did seem the girls started younger than the boys back then. I didn’t even realize there was an age limit, I have a 6th grade niece that’s been on for years.
My only thought is this – and I’ve wanted to shout this out for a long time – if your kid is on facebook, look at his/her page regularly. My kid has always been very open about his facebook, he’ll leave his computer open with the facebook up all the time and doesn’t care if I sit and read it (I’ve never had a facebook page). WOW it’s eye opening sometimes. Many, many of you really need to go have a look at your kids page. And not the edited version they allow you to see from your own facebook – go look at it when THEY are signed in. Some of you are going to freak out if you follow my advice – I promise you. Raunchy, inappropriate, bizarre – I’ve seen it all. And from “good kids”, successful, achieving kids – no way their parents are seeing this stuff, words and pictures. I don’t think you need to know everything your kid says or does, but this is posted on the internets, it can be saved, cached, whatever and return to haunt you forever.
I can certainly understand the concerns of the above posts, but I hope they won’t judge this teacher harshly for what appears to be an act of genuine good will. My sister’s a high school teacher and feels justifiably resentful for spending 80+ hours every year of her own, unpaid family time writing up college recommendations for her senior students. This HPMS teacher is giving up her own time (in addition to her 90 minutes of HPISD-required tutorials every week) with no compensation to assist her students. The fact that she’s doing it in real time (at night, when kids are actually doing their homework & may have questions that normally couldn’t be addressed) makes it an even more valuable contribution. While I don’t know if Facebook is the best venue in which to do it, I don’t have any other suggestions and I think it’s pretty judgey to deem her effort as “VERY inappropriate”.
Don’t get too carried away here. The teacher’s spot on – you fish where the fish are. I’m guessing more than 80 percent of the kids in her class are Facebooking – whether they lied about their age is another issue entirely. It’s not unreasonable, much less inappropriate, for a teacher to engage students on a Facebook group. Kudos to the teacher for her efforts ON BEHALF OF OUR KIDS. I think the parents who are wagging their fingers at this well-intentioned teacher are misplacing their own fear, guilt, ignorance. Thanks to the commenters above who helped distinguish the difference between “friending” someone and joining a “group.” Parents, we should do more than snoop (which I advocate) on ourkids’ Facebook pages, we need to UNDERSTAND how and why they are engaging with friends, causes, groups, etc. This is the future folks, get used to it.
I noticed this year that lots of the teachers and the schools are on twitter and/or have facebook pages. As long as it is a separate site set up specifically for that school or that classroom I see no problem with it. It is the way that things are going now. My son has the same 4th grade teacher as my daughter had and we didn’t do anything such as a powerpoint presentation or follow the teacher on twitter when she was in 4th grade but now they are expecting the 4th graders to do powerpoint etc… its technology. Love it or leave it~ its here to stay.
Yeah, but the way Merritt framed it, the problem solves itself. It’s not a criticism of a well-meaning teacher, it’s a matter of honesty (and, specifically, honesty in the context of entering into what is basically a contract with Facebook, Inc., using a medium of interstate telecommunications). A certain subset of the class can’t enter Facebook without making a false material statement. So it’s a no-brainer: No Facebook-enabled classes for 7th graders. Is there any other answer for HPISD? No drama, no fuss, no criticism of the teacher’s motives.
Bluebird and 1635 make valid points. Kudos to the teacher for initiative and using available free technology to further engage students. However, with the resources within the community and school district has within the foundation, if the district decides this is a worthy approach, a software package should be made available internally and securely for students and teachers to use and collaborate. Simple and elegant solution.
Thank you 1635. Exactly the point. You dont break the rules, and you dont enter into a contract with false information. Look, some things need to be black and white so when the really big issues come up they have a foundation of integrity. Big problems start with little missteps.
One of the art teachers is having his students use a social site called Ning. I’m not too familiar with it yet, but he explained that he wants the kids to have a broader audience for their work and he will photograph their dork with a document camera, put it on Ning and people can comment. If used the right way, and with teacher and parental supervision, I think there is a place for this.
Nicemom, unfortunately Ning has the same requirement – you must be 13. checkout their education forum – several teachers have posted about the perils and pitfalls.
http://education.ning.com/forum/topics/1027485:Topic:40246?id=1027485%3ATopic%3A40246&page=2#comments
And, here’s the biggest issue. You must comply with COPPA – and if not, you are subject to big time fines. Now, they dont really have time to go after mom and dad who don’t comply, but a school district? The Network is liable. Teachers – don’t take the risk. Admin – step up and explain to your teachers the responsiblity they have to comply and to set an example of integrity.
http://www.coppa.org
Whatever happened to students doing their homework and not having to run and ask their teacher everything at 8 at night? I’m still trying to remember when, if EVER, I really needed to get in contact with my teacher while doing my homework/projects/etc.
Sheesh kids, figure it out for yourself, or ask your teacher the next day at school.
ESD students are not allowed to use Facebook. The site takes up too much time and can be used for non-productive social behavior.
@nicemom –
“he will photograph their dork with a document camera, put it on Ning and people can comment”
Now I know what the problem is!
OMG, ESD needs to take a chill pill. The Facebook site “can be used for non-productive social behavior”??? D’oh!! I thought that was why FB existed. I certainly don’t post anything life-altering or productive on it. Lord, they sound like a dictatorship.
ESD kids don’t use facebook! That’s a good one!
ESD kids don’t use facebook? When sex scandal teacher Nathan Campbell was there, a student made a facebook fan page so people could be a fan of Mr. Campbell and his football announcing prowess. It has since been removed.
Never mind–it still exists: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2212072476
My 7-year-old daughter and I “share” a Facebook page. When she wants to check out her uncle in Afghanistan or her cousins in England, we get on FB together. The page is listed under my name, she doesn’t know the password, and the profile pic is a fuzzy B&W one of us together. I assume the teacher intended underage (for FB) kids to do something like this.
Using Facebook with Students Becomes A Global Conversation via CNN http://bit.ly/aqIA4e