4th Grade Graduation Getting to You?

This mom is on the edge. And before you go nuts on her let me tell you, the end of 4th grade is fun but it IS a total time sucker from March through May. Celebrating is super but it can go too far. Did you say a dance? U.P. Elementary didn’t do that when my daughter was graduating. Bradfield, what up with that?

My child is “graduating” from Bradfield and going to McCulloch next year. I have never in my life seen so much ridiculous hoo-ha over passing the 4th grade.  There’s a dance, a pool party, a family picnic, an individual class pool party, a graduation ceremony, a video … it just goes on and on. 

And let’s just talk about this dance. 

I am so irritated that they are having a boy/girl dance for a bunch of ten-year olds.  [Child] is having a major anxiety attack over the fact that some of the boys are asking girls to the dance.  Are they supposed to be taking dates – AT TEN YEARS OLD? Some are actually picking up their “dates” and going out to dinner beforehand. 

Why are we putting so much pressure on our kids at this young age? My poor child is totally stressed over this whole ridiculous affair and – I know – some people might say, “Then just keep him at home.  He doesn’t have to go”. True.  But the fact that the school is making such a big deal out of it is pressuring him to go and participate in this pre-teen mating ritual. 

There. Now, that I’ve vented. What’s your take as the mother of a girl on this topic?

10 thoughts on “4th Grade Graduation Getting to You?

  • April 21, 2010 at 12:01 pm
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    “I am so irritated that they are having a boy/girl dance for a bunch of ten-year olds.”

    You are right and they are wrong. Even HPMS kids are not encouraged to pair up for their dances. Freshman year is when the dating assumption begins. Perhaps you could suggest that the school at least discourage boys and girls from going to the dance as couples?

    “Why are we putting so much pressure on our kids at this young age?”

    Many parents in this district are anxious for their kids to grow up. The very young are sent to summer sleepover camp. Some girls’ school clothing becomes too “adult” by 5th grade. Elementary school athletes are expected to excel. The district and parents say from kindergarten on that they are teaching responsibility; maybe they are rushing childhood.

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  • April 21, 2010 at 12:33 pm
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    I was the only kid in my class to take a date to the 7th grade Christmas dance. Ten years old is about 4 years too soon, in my opinion, for a girl/boy couples dance.

    Although, I think that first magical peck on the lips happened on the playground in 3rd grade…

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  • April 21, 2010 at 2:01 pm
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    There is not a silver of a chance that my 4th grader is going on a date! She and her girl friends will be going as a group. There were a few days of drama and hurt feelings going around, but thankfully she was not really sucked into it all. They are far too young to deal with asking, being asked, turning people down, accepting an invitation, etc. Bradfield has sent out emails trying to stop this stupidity. These will probably be the same parents that allow high school boys and girls to sleepover at the lake house as a group so none drive back to Dallas drunk! Um…how about not serving them drinks in the first place!

    AND I agree about the crazy amount of things that happen for 4th grade graduation. So excessive.

    How are the other schools celebrating?

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  • April 21, 2010 at 3:11 pm
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    Find the parents who have been sending their kids to Cotillion and you will find the instigators of this very foolish enterprise.

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  • April 21, 2010 at 3:19 pm
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    Oh for heavens sake, going to summer camp is quite different than going out on boy/girl dates. I’ve yet to meet a kid that didn’t love his time at camp – very different from the question at hand. It is too young for a boy girl dance, it is too grown up for them. But going to a week of church camp, or boy scout camp, or whatever camp in elementary school is completely appropriate an healthy. Clinging to your “babies” can harm just as shoving them into behavior too old for them.

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  • April 21, 2010 at 3:53 pm
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    The 4th Grade Disco Dance is a fund-raiser through Auction, one can bid on as class party. Participation is optional. It is not a school sponsored event, it is a donation item to the auction. The dance is a group activity. Yes, a few kids got over zealous and started asking on dates to the party. But as soon as parents, teachers, and administrators became aware. The whole situation was stopped in it’s tracks. Dating at this age is inappropriate and the children were made very much aware of it. It is supposed to be a fun “group” activity and a fund-raiser … nothing more. Tween years here we come! If only all misunderstanding could be resolved as skillfully and swiftly as this one was.

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  • April 21, 2010 at 3:54 pm
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    The 4th Grade Disco Dance is a fund-raiser through Auction, one can bid on as class party. Participation is optional. It is not a school sponsored event, it is a donation item to the auction. The dance is a group activity. Yes, a few kids got over zealous and started asking dates to the party. But as soon as parents, teachers, and administrators became aware. The whole situation was stopped in it’s tracks. Dating at this age is inappropriate and the children were made very much aware of it. It is supposed to be a fun “group” activity and a fund-raiser … nothing more. Tween years here we come! If only all misunderstanding could be resolved as skillfully and swiftly as this one was.

    Reply
  • April 21, 2010 at 4:13 pm
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    What kind of dowry is your son being offered? Ah, the Bubble. To where does all of this pressure lead. Suicides, divorce and alcoholism.

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  • April 21, 2010 at 5:44 pm
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    I agree with All is Well. The school did a great job of getting this under control as soon as they knew. It is a great auction money maker and hopefully all the kids are excited about it too!

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  • April 26, 2010 at 2:37 pm
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    My child graduated from Bradfield last year and this dance was, as previously stated, optional. It was just a fun event to go act silly in the gym. Of course there were those “dates” but it was “1 couple” and it so grossed the other kids out. We did not have any other major functions, class picnic where they got a treat and ran, and breakfast the morning of at school to see a video they all loved. It is not a major deal in the big scheme of things, but it is also the 1 fun thing they get to do at Elem school.

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